Broken Dolls

Author: Juju DeRoussie
Rating: NC 17 over all. Not for good things at first I fear.
Disclaimers: I do not own any characters coming from the TV show Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I do not make money from this. I do however own all of the other characters.
Distribution: Please feel free to ask
Summary: This is the hard part for me. The lives of two pretty dolls, from childhood to the end of teenage hood and the beginning of adulthood. Life isn't always a gift. There are many demons. Not the metaphorical kind.
Feedback: Please very much so. Any kind as long as it is said kindly. And please if you have any suggestion, tell me. Please leave feedback on the Broken Dolls thread on the Kitten Board.

Thanks: To my princess who is a busy beta but I love it nonetheless, and thanks to these dear persons who encouraged me. And of course, thanks to June who told me to not be afraid of writing this.
NOTE: THIS FIC HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY KLEENEX! SO BE READY LOL. (of course not really 'cause I don't make any money!)

WARNING: This story will be about abuses. Mental as well as physical. If you are sensible, please do not read this. If you think you can't handle it I prefer for you to not read this. I am serious. I prefer for you to not read this than to read it and get upset. I know this subjects can be difficult, so donít ignore this warning! Thanks

To my dear Vnoucka, …lo, Vivige and Her.

The dark outside frightened her. She was hungry and tired. Her mother shouldn't be long now. She decided to go and wait in the hall. That way she could hear her mother's heels' sound on the corridor's hard floor.

She was impatient to tell her mommy about her day at school: how she had shown Sandy she was wrong, how well she has done in class, and also ask her mom to sign a paper so she could go on a field trip. She was afraid to forget about this. She needed the paper or she would stay at the school in another class and will have more homework. She truly wanted to go in the forest with her class. They were going to ride ponies and learn how recognize a tree from its leaves. There would also be a race through the forest. She has always loved that kind of stuff. When she was younger she went once a week to the forest. Her belly growled once again. She was truly hungry now, but she had to wait for her mother. She wouldn't be long now.

Half an hour later, a woman came in the flat and found her daughter asleep in the hall on the floor. It made her smile. A sad smile though. The woman bent down to pick up the lithe body in her arms and put her on the couch. She woke her up slowly, smiling.

She had felt her mommy take her in her arms, and she had heard her voice. She opened her eyes and saw her mommy smiling. She was talking about making her some soup before going to sleep. She just nodded. She was forgetting something she was sure. But she was too much hungry and sleepy to remember what.

After a little while her mother came back and asked her to get seated at the table. But she still didn't remember what it was that she wanted to ask her mommy about.

After dinner, Sheila took her little girl to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and then to her bedroom. She kissed her baby girl's forehead and asked her what story she wanted to hear.

But the little girl was already half asleep so she just stayed there watching her 7 year old daughter go in the Dreamland, holding her little teddy bear.

Later that evening, Sheila Rosenberg washed the dishes and thought about her daughter. She had to work hard to raise her since her divorce from her husband. He couldn't give her any money for their daughter. He came by once in a while to see her and to ask for money.

She loved dearly her daughter. But it was so hard to be a single mother. Still, she felt guilty to come home so late. However never the thought to come home right after work and to go with her friends only once or twice a week crossed her mind.

Every day she would take a break at work and call home to see if her daughter was back from school and if she was ok, then she would finish work and head to the pub, have generally 3 to 5 beers, and come back home, make dinner for her daughter, and put her in bed. When she had the time in the morning, she would wake her daughter a bit early to draw her a bath, have breakfast, and then she would go to work, trusting her daughter to go to school on her own. Her little girl had her own keys now. She had found colored keys, and made them different colors for each keys. The building's key was purple, the one for the first lock on their door was red, and for the second it was green.

She couldn't help but smile when remembering her daughter's pride to have her own keys. And colored!

Sheila put aside the dish towel and went to her own bed with her cigarettes, a book, and a beer. The weekend was near, and on Sunday she would spend the day with her daughter and their neighbors.

She met this woman some months ago while doing the laundry in the basement, they never really saw each other besides there, but she was moving out next week and they decided to spend this Sunday together. She had a daughter too, maybe their girls would play together.

Rebecca Maclay awoke with the feeling of tiny hands shaking her. She opened her eyes and was confronted with two hopeful bright blue eyes and an adorable pout on small pink lips.

"Pancakes mamma?" asked the blonde haired girl. Her voice so small and hopeful brought a smile to Rebecca's lips. She couldn't help but hug her daughter tight against her chest, causing the little girl to fall on top of her. Seeing an opportunity in this position, she tickled mercilessly the baby girl.

The giggles of mother and daughter filled the small flat. A quarter of an hour later Rebecca found herself in the kitchenette making pancakes for her daughter. Smiling to herself, happy to have this little ray of sun in her life.

Rebecca Maclay was a single mother. Her husband was gone one day with their son, and she never heard of them ever again. Her husband, officially he was still her husband had never liked having a daughter. Neither did he love his wife. They both had been married by their families. Both families had been happy about this marriage but the two of them. One day Donald Maclay Senior just left with Donald Junior. Rebecca had then to find a job, and to move in a smaller flat. People thought she would have been depressed and lost without Donald, but she was more relieved than anything else.

Her life now was simple, take care of her sunshine, her 5 years old daughter. Work to offer her a good life. Of course she missed her son. But it wasn't like with her daughter. Donald made sure for her to know when Donnie was born that he was his son, not theirs. As for her baby girl, she was hers and not theirs.

She couldn't ask for more than her daughter anyway. She was bright for a 5 year old girl. She never asked for things she knew they couldn't afford. She ate all her vegetables. A really easy to raise child.

They had to move out from this flat. Rebecca had an offer for a better job in another town, so she couldn't stay here. It meant another school for her baby, and new landmarks in a new home. Rebecca was about to loose what she had the closest of a friend. But more money was better for her daughter.

Her baby girl who was currently trying to carry her empty plate and the syrup, without letting go of her doll.

"Don't you think it would be easier if you put Dolly down?" asked Rebecca, her eyes smiling.

"I don't wanna! She can't come to school with me, so I have to take care of her while I am home!" answered her pouting baby girl.

And so the day was started.

Rebecca will walk her daughter to school and then go to work, then she would come pick her daughter up from school at the end of her day. Her world turned around this sun. Her sun.

Sheila awoke her daughter at 7 o'clock with a glass of orange juice. It was their little ritual every morning. After her daughter drank the juice, she would give her mommy a kiss good bye and take care of herself before to go to school on her own. The school wasn't far. Ten or fifteen minutes by walking.

This morning, like every others, Sheila had her good bye kiss and then went to work.

After her mommy was gone, the little girl went to take her shower. Then carefully she picked up her clothes for the day, and then prepared her bag for school. While doing so she remembered suddenly what it was that she had to ask her mother the previous night. Sighing in defeat, she said good bye to her trip in the forest. She knew she should have put the paper on the table when she did her homework, but she just forgot and after... She was too tired to remember it. Oh well, she will spend Monday in another classroom, if she was lucky she will be in a superior level and truly learn stuff while she will do the homework. Indeed, she was very smart and had no problem at all doing three or four things at a time. For this reason, she was bored in class... She liked what they did, but it was just too slow for her. She should have skipped a class already but her mother and the director of the school had had no time to meet yet. But soon, her mother had promised. Maybe next month.

Once ready to go, she ate breakfast while watching the cartoons. It was time to leave for school, so she turned off the TV, put her bowl in the sink and put some water in it, and then put her coat on and took her bag.

The last day of the week, then she'll have more time with her mommy. As much as she loved school, she loved weekends to spend time with her mommy.

Friday went like any other weekday for Sheila Rosenberg, she came home late after some drinks with her friends and co workers. The week wasn't over for her though, she still had a morning shift on Saturday. But everyone could almost smell the weekend, so they spent hours laughing and drinking. When she arrived at home, it was past 9 o'clock. Her daughter was asleep in front of the TV, a movie rated PG 13 running on it currently. Her daughter was cuddling her Teddy bear tightly, as if holding on to him for dear life.

Sheila took off her coat, and went to wake her baby girl up.

"Honey? Time to wake up honey, mommy is home! There, mommy will make you dinner, come to help me? yes? Come on sleepy head".

After turning off the TV, Sheila and her daughter made dinner, ate dinner, and Sheila put her baby in bed. Took some wine, some cigarettes, a video from a locked cabinet, and went to her bedroom.

Some times later, the flat was silent except from some low sound, like moans, coming from the mother's bedroom.

Saturdays Chez Les Maclays was usually filled with daily chores in the morning, quiet games for the little blonde head, and groceries in the afternoon.

But this Saturday was filled with packing. Rebecca was packing her few belongings and her daughter's in a practical order. Trying to decide what was still needed for the few days she was still there, and what her daughter couldn't do without.

Always willing to help, the little girl told her mamma:

"Dolly stays with me Mamma." With such innocence and bright blue eyes that Rebecca everytime melted.

For the Rosenbergs, it was a bit different. The morning was spent at work for Sheila. Her daughter woke up later than on week days and then read or watched TV. Or both.

At the end of her shift, Sheila came back home directly, unlike on week days. She and her baby had lunch, and then went to the grocery store. Their time together had started, and you couldn't see a brighter smile in the whole store.

The evening came and they watched TV while eating a dinner they prepared together. The weekend was sacred. Both were happy.

On Sunday morning, Sheila and Rebecca awoke both very early to do some laundry before the rest of the building decides to do so too. It was their weekly meeting. Sunday morning, 7 o'clock. Nobody else used the washer and dryer at the ungodly hour. Their daughters usually still slept at this hour, and if not they still knew where their mothers were.

This Sunday morning, Sheila and Rebecca did their laundry as usual and decided of the events of their day. Their daughter had never met, and they were both glad to spend the day just te four of them. They would spend it AT Sheila's because Rebecca's was full of boxes.

They chatted about the weather and did the usual smal talk. Around 9 they both had their baskets of laundry in their hands and so they made their way to their respective flats, Rebecca promising to come in half an hour or so.

Each daughter was already awake, only Rebecca's had not taken her shower yet. She was only 5 and so bath time was only when her mommy was there.

Around 9:30, Rebecca and a very excited blonde rang Sheila's doorbell. Another little girl opened the door and stared expectantly at the strangers on her doorstep.

"Hello there, I am Rebecca, your mommy is expecting me and my daughter, can we come in?"

The red haired little girl was about to answer when her mother came from behind and urged the two blondes in.

Both little girls were shy at first. Fortunately Super Waffles came to their rescue. Full of imagination, the 7 years old girl showed to the younger how Super Waffle could fly, bit by bit, in her waiting mouth. She told fantastic stories of how Super Waffle with the help of Magic Syrup and OJ the Great saved Breakfast Town. Soon the flat was filled with innocent and young laugher. One of the last times.

As the day went, both families spent time together. During the afternoon however, both mothers asked the little girls to take a nap. The grown ups used that time to talk about things more personal.

But the two girls couldn't sleep. They were too much excited by each other's presence there. They talked for sometimes but then the younger was falling asleep. They decided to cuddle, the red haired girl promising to watch over the blue eyed baby girl while she slept.

Rebecca and Sheila regretted to not have introduced their daughters earlier. They were also surprised at how fast both little girls bonded with each other. Surely there will be tears in the evening, and much more when Rebecca and her daughter will move to another town.

After their nap, both girls played together. Hearing them make plans to play like this every Sunday, Rebecca and Sheila explained to the girls that it was impossible.

Both girls went to the safety of their Castle, and tried to make plans. Locking themselves in their own universe.

"Why don't you come with Mamma and I? You could sleep in my bedroom!" asked innocently the blonde head, her eyes shining with tears and innocence.

"I can't, I have to stay with my mommy. And you with yours. But it is unfair. Grown ups!" mumbled the red haired girl, her green eyes full of tears too.

They spent the rest of the afternoon to play and act as if they were never going to be torn apart. They found this unfair to have a new friend and to not be able to keep it.

Unfortunately, the time flies when you play, and both girls heard Rebecca calling out for her daughter, time to go home had sounded.

"Will you forget about me?" asked once again the blonde haired girl.

"Why would you ask that? I could never forget you! I promise!" answered with all her heart the red head, crossing her heart. "Wait!" she suddenly exclaimed. She went to her bed with her Teddy bear, and give it to the little girl, with hopeful green eyes.

"Take my teddy, you will not forget me, and he will watch over you when you sleep. Ok?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

The younger girl took the Teddy bear almost reverently, and hugged it tightly, crying her heart out. She promised "I will take good care of him. Promise."

She then threw herself in the older girl, both crying. Suddenly realizing something, the blonde haired girl run out of the room and downstairs, where she had left her doll with her Mamma.

Perplexed by the blonde's departure, the redhead got up slowly and went out of her bedroom. The younger girl came running to her once again, her doll against her chest.

"This is my doll, I want you to keep it for me. And to take good care of her. She needs a good Mamma ok?" The red haired girl nodded, her lower lips trembling, the tears once again willing to run freely on her soaked cheeks.

"What's her name?" she asked, taking carefully the doll in her arms, as if it was a real baby.

"Dolly. Does your Teddy bear has a name?" asked the blonde girl.

"No... Just Teddy bear. You can give him one if you want." said the red haired girl.

Both mothers were watching the exchange, understanding the girls' pain, and wanting to erase it.

"I'll call him Teddy Willow. Like you." Said the smiling blonde.

"Ok. Can I name your doll Dolly Tara?" Asked Willow, hope written all over her features.

Tara nodded.

They were both smiling, looking like two dolls made of porcelain. Two innocent little girls. But porcelain is so fragile...

Continue to Broken Dolls Chapter One

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