Author: Chris Cook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Based on characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer created by Joss Whedon and his talented minionators, and A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare.

ATHENS. A Room in LARRY's House.

[Enter LARRY, DEVON, MICHAEL, and SCOTT.]

Larry: Have you sent to Jonathan's house? Is he come home yet?

Scott: He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt, he is transported.

Devon: If he come not, then... the play is marred; it goes not forward, doth it?

Larry: It is not possible; you have not a man in all Athens able to discharge Angel but he.

Devon: No; he hath simply the best wit of any handicraft man in Athens.

Larry: Yes, and the best person too; and he is a very paramour for a sweet voice.

Devon: You must say paragon; a paramour is, God bless us, a thing of naught.

Larry: Hey, I can dream, can't I?

[Enter HARMONY.]

Harmony: Masters, the duke is coming from the temple; and there is two or three lords and ladies more married! If our sport had gone forward we had all been made rich!

Devon: O sweet Jonathan! Thus hath he lost sixpence a-day during his life; he could not have 'scaped sixpence a-day; an the duke had not given him sixpence a-day for playing Angel, I'll be hanged; he would have deserved it; sixpence a-day in Angel, or nothing.

[Enter JONATHAN.]

Jonathan: Where are these lads? Where are these hearts?

Larry: Jonathan! - O most courageous day! O most happy hour!

Devon: It's happy hour? Dude, I should be at the bar.

Jonathan: Masters, I am to discourse wonders; but ask me not what; for if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I will tell you everything, right as it fell out.

Larry: Let us hear, sweet Jonathan.

Jonathan: Not a word of me. All that I will tell you is, that the duke hath dined. Get your apparel together; good strings to your beards, new ribbons to your pumps; -
[Harmony checks her shoes.]
- meet presently at the palace; every man look over his part; for, the short and the long is, out play is preferred. In any case, let Cordelia have clean linen; and let not him that plays Skip pare his nails, for they shall hang out for the creature's claws. And, most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlick; for we are to utter sweet breath; and I do not doubt but to hear them say it is a sweet comedy. No more words; away! Go, away!

[Exeunt.]