A pitch black night, with only a sliver of moon, graced the sky as a worried couple peeked out the corner of a quiet van window.

"Darling, how in the world will we get by all those vampires to the safety of our home?" The attractive thirtysomething woman asked before ducking back away from the window.

"Maybe the slayer will come and..." The slightly balding gentleman started.

"Enough with the slayer! Have you heard the ear piercing screams from her home? She has a whiny, shiny haired demon that prevents her from saving us good, honest people from harm."

"Your right, honey. Plus, she's self-absorbed enough to start her own brand of paper towels." The gentleman agreed with a nod.

"That's a different commercial."

"Of course, dear."

The man suddenly scrambled towards the front console of the van, pulling out a sleeve of mint candies. He handed her a disc shaped treat and they each popped one into their mouth before looking at each other with a sly nod.

A few minutes later...

The couple began to scoot up the drive, stealthfully holding leafy branches around their bodies and inching slowly towards the back door.

"Yaaaaahhhhh!" "Noooooo!"

*Crunch* *Crunch*

*Slurp* *Slurp*

"Now that's some minty fresh blood!" The peroxide haired vampire exclaimed as he dropped his leftovers to the ground.

"Bentos - The Fresh Meat Maker! Also available in fruity and sugarfree, for us dead blokes looking out for our pearly whites."