Author: JustSkipIt
Rating: R to NC-17
Feedback: Please leave feedback on the Waiting for Dani thread on the Kitten Board.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. I'm not saying this universe is totally original but I didn't steal it from any author or creator that I know of. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.
Distribution: Kitten Board, Through the Looking Glass, Mystic Muse. Everyone else, send me a note.
Note: Thanks to Rachel for really helping me think through what should reasonably happen in this update.

Over the course of the next two weeks, my life returned to usual. I found myself the recipient of much more formal address than before and had to keep reminding myself of my new position. Strangest to me was Melanie's position. She was the closest thing I had had to a mother in my life and yet with four marks she was now beneath my station. I could not get used to the tone of respect as she addressed me as Lady Tara or Lady Maclay. More so, I actually found it uncomfortable when Dani addressed me as Lady Maclay. I had always loved the sound of my name out of her lovely mouth whether it was Tara or T'ra or Miss Tara or even now Lady Tara but Lady Maclay sounded to me as if she were addressing my mother, not that I'd ever heard such a thing. I wanted to hear my own name from her lips and yet I knew that something between us had changed forever, that everything between us had changed forever.

So life around the castle returned to normal. My hand improved every day and after a week I could hold the reins, a pen, or a bow. The healer arrived every day just after breakfast and put my hand through a series of tests before applying a salve intended to speed healing and soften up the skin so that it would not heal drawn or pinched. I was to do a series of exercises bending and flexing the hand and fingers every hour and Tadre limited my drawing, although she made her usual visit to the castle for our work together five days after my marks were completed.

A few days before Dani was to take her marks we began our journey. The journey is an optional but frequent tradition. Certain mark-bound pairs will choose to undertake a journey together to allow them to spend final time together before the relationship is formally created. It is, in theory, a chance for the master or mistress to make clear her expectations and a chance for the servant to ask questions freely and openly or to withdraw from the agreement if appropriate. I had never heard of a servant choosing to withdraw from such an arrangement but it was possible that when this happened the family did not want to disclose this information and that this was why I had never heard of it. I felt doubtful that Dani would not want to be with me. Creator knew how much I wanted to be bound to her. I hoped that our time together would give her a chance to examine any doubts she may have but I did not know what they might be. More so, I prayed for a chance to discuss what we had not discussed since the night of my mark-taking.

Following breakfast thirteen days after my mark-taking, we made our way to the courtyard to find our horses saddled and loaded for us. Dani had, of course, completed our packs last night and this morning before we came down for breakfast. The stable hands had saddled our horses for us and provided us with rations and water. We planned to hunt on our journey but we would be rationed nonetheless. Our return was scheduled, per tradition, for noon the next day.

The night before Donnie had pulled me aside to speak to me about our journey. He confided to me that during this time, the relationship between myself and Dani would be equal. I would not be her Lady nor she my girl. This was information which a mark-pair was only given the night before a journey and always by the last pair marked in their house. I looked forward to the opportunity to hear my girl call me Tara even if nothing else in the day was profitable.

Father, Melanie, D'rs, D'elam, Donnie, Anne, Faith, and D'Shel saw us off, each giving us many hugs and well wishes and I saw that Father and D'Shel both had tears in their eyes as we mounted Hope and Dream. I remember looking back and forth between the two of them for a long time. I so rarely thought of D'Shel as Dani's mother, yet she was. When I did think of it, I felt great respect for this woman. From what I knew of Dani's magic, it was obvious to me that D'Shel as well as Dani's father were both noble or formerly noble. The absence of marks on D'Shel's hand meant that she had not been noble but perhaps her parents or grandparents had been and somehow they had fallen on hard times. Rather than take a free-woman's job which she certainly could have done given her considerable skills in the kitchen, she had offered mark-binding on herself in order to provide her daughter with a higher, still mark-bound, future.

We waved as we rode from the courtyard and followed our estate path a mile or so. After a mile, Dani left the road to ride through a break in the hedge. I felt very glad to see her take that initiative as I had feared that I would have to take command on this journey in spite of our equality. If her submission was too deeply ingrained I didn't know that she could forget it so easily. We rode on for a few more miles in silence until we met up with a small river which bordered our land. "East?"

Dani looked both ways and nodded her agreement and we moved our horses in that direction. "How is your hand, Tara?" She asked after a few minutes ride.

I was very pleased to hear her use my name. So she had also been informed of our roles on this journey. "It itches mostly but I love the feeling and look of my marks."

Dani smiled. "You should. They are very beautiful and impressive." We continued to ride in relative silence for most of the morning before she looked up at the incline of the sun and slowed Dream. "Why don't we let the horses drink and we can take a break?"

I agreed and we both dismounted. I pulled a few apples, cheese, and bread from my pack and we sat on the edge of a rock to share the small snack. "Where do you want to go, Dani?" The rock was small and we were perfectly content to sit side by side on it. It would be a warm day and I could feel Dani's heat through the thin coverings we both wore over our arms and smell her sweet perspiration.

She had apparently been thinking of this. "I was hoping that we could continue this way. Faith told me that there is a waterfall not more than four hours away and I thought we could make camp near it overnight so we could hear the rushing water as we sleep."

I nodded. "That sounds like a good plan." I smirked slightly. "Of course a ride that far might be more comfortable if we were on one horse. We could share body heat that way." I wished I could be more direct. I could ask her to share my horse or ask her about her actions the night of my marks but instead I blushed and looked at my boots and wondered what any of it meant as I longed for the feel of her body in my arms.

Dani knew I was flirting and laughed at the obviousness of my attempt. She stood up and brushed off her britches with her hands then leaned over and kissed the tip of my nose. "Or you could just ask me to ride with you." She stepped backwards away from my grasp and tucked her knife back into her waistband.

I laughed admiring her grace as she so easily avoided me. After brushing off my britches and holstering my knife as well, I took Hope's reigns. "Would you like to ride with me?"

Dani bowed playfully. "Always, Tara. Always." Her tone was completely sincere and I mounted Hope before extending my hand to pull Dani in front of me.

We rode a very long time like that, sometimes on Hope and sometimes on Dream. On Dream I let Dani ride and I was her passenger, enjoying the feel of her hands on my hips or thighs or one forearm wrapped around my stomach. On Hope we reversed our positions and I had her pressed against my front. Sometimes we rode in silence and sometimes we talked, mostly about inconsequential things: Donnie's education, Faith's wildness, Anne's dancing. The afternoon was filled with laughter and teasing. We spoke very little that first afternoon about ourselves or our future. A few times I tried to start a conversation about our relationship. "You really helped me through my marks, Dani."

I felt no tensing of her small body in my hands. No nervousness. No tentativeness. "I am glad to hear that, Tara."

It was late afternoon when we began to hear the waterfall. From the roaring sound I could tell that it was a large one. The water in the stream we rode behind began to speed up and we could see the drop-off on the horizon. To our right I noticed a row of four trees of a species I had never seen. Each tree was tall and wide, just bordering the stream with some roots in the water and some outside of it. Hanging down from the tree were hundreds of branches with long flowing green leaves that waved in the wind, some actually touching the water themselves. Dani must have noticed me staring at the tree for she whispered in my ear. "Faith told me that is called a Willow tree."

I nodded. "It's very beautiful." Dani reined Dream to a stop and dismounted before helping me down. We worked in silence to remove the packs and take care of the horses, removing their tack and brushing them before allowing them to graze and drink from the water. I asked Dani if she would rather hunt or stay at the camp to set up and build a fire. I had no doubt that she preferred hunting but did not know if her training would force her to defer me. I think she really considered it but then a wide smile broke across her face and she announced a preference for hunting. I handed her her bow and quiver and she departed on foot for her hunt with an excited look on her face.

I watched Dani go then turned to the packs. It didn't take me long to erect our small tent nor to build the fire. After nearly a decade of magical study, if I had any trouble with the fire, it would have been an affront to both my estate and title. Before the sun had progressed much more toward the horizon I had completed my work at the camp. I tested the water with a hand and decided to take a bath, disrobing near the stream and folding my clothes on a rock. I took a few minutes to wash my inner garments and leave them drying over the fire before enjoying my bath. With the soap root I found near the water I was able to give my hair and skin a thorough washing. The water was relatively warm in spite of the fast current and by wrapping my feet around a root, I was able to remain stable while floating.

I was startled from my relaxation by Dani's voice. "Now I know why you offered to allow me to hunt." Her eyes danced with laughter from her teasing and I could tell that she had enjoyed her efforts. The fact that a quail and a rabbit dangled from her strap told me what a successful hunt she had taken.

I disentangled my feet and took a few quick strokes to the side and climbed from the water, pulling a cloth around me to dry off. I noted the dazed look in her eyes as she watched me emerge from the water but wasn't sure what it meant. I used the cloth to dry my hair then pulled on the change of clothes Dani had packed. "Why don't you leave those and enjoy the water." I motioned toward the rock. "I left some soap root on that rock."

Dani bowed playfully as she tossed the game near my feet, then with a quick turn verily danced off toward the water. I laughed as I bent to pick up the animals and watched with great interest as she stripped off her riding clothes. My cheeks burned as I noted the curves and muscles of her body. It was a sight I didn't see nearly enough as she was usually in a great hurry to undress at night after getting me ready for bed and in the morning, she was virtually always up and dressed before me. A voice in the back of my head shouted that I should look away, give her some privacy but I found myself unable to comply. In a few seconds, she had dived deep and my decision was made. I tore my attention from my girl and attended to our dinner.

By the time Dani emerged from the water, looking as beautiful as ever and wringing water from her hair, I had our feast simmering in a cook pot. I motioned toward her hair and offered to brush it which she allowed. We didn't speak much as I brushed her hair and massaged her head with my fingertips. When I had finished, she insisted on returning the treatment and I know that she could hear me attempting to suppress slight gasps or whimpers at the pleasure I felt from her fingers. Tying my hair back with a small leather cord, she quickly pivoted to straddle my lap and planted a quick kiss on my forehead. "Maybe we should enjoy dinner," she said as she stood and backed a step away before I could wrap my arms around her waist.

Enjoy dinner we did. I hadn't noticed the empty feeling in my stomach but apparently the day spent riding and preparing dinner had worked up an appetite in both of us. We each ate two bowls of stew as well as part of the quail and some small sweet buns the kitchens had packed for us. We also had a bottle of wine to share. When we were finished we washed our dishes in the stream and then lay down on our blanket near the fire, watching the stars overhead.

I playfully teased Dani about the constellations-an ancient avocation of mine. While she of course had memorized the name and location and movement of every star in the heavens the first time she heard them, I found it easier to remember them if I associated something more fun with the constellations. "There's moose in the bathtub and big pile o crackers." I pointed with my fingers as I reeled off my original list, happy to feel my girl's laughter in my arms. As my naming suggestions became more and more absurd, her attempts to dissuade me of them also mounted. She named the constellations, sang a memorization song for each, or stood and parodied one of our my many tutors. Her impressions of one Master Tellar in particular had me literally quaking with laughter.

When she was done with her performance, she again snuggled with me in our furs. I wrapped my arms around her and felt her contentment. She felt so warm and relaxed in my arms and I wondered if this would be the time to ask the questions that were burning in my mouth. I lightly kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Dani." It was no more than a whisper and I shook as I spoke.

Dani's arms were wrapped around my own and she tightened her grip, pulling my arms tighter around her torso. She giggled a little. "Of course you do, sweetie. I love you too." She lifted her hand and mine in it to her mouth and gently kissed the back of my hand.

I furrowed my brow as I thought about her answer. It wasn't quite the ringing endorsement I ... I don't know what I expected. That she would turn in my arms and kiss me? That we would... I don't know what I thought. On one hand her answer seemed to cement our place together but on the other, it seemed so blasé. Almost an afterthought. "D-d-do you have any questions or c-concerns about tomorrow?"

She rubbed the side of her face on my forearm, almost like a young kitten. "No. I have been trained, have known my destiny every day for many years, Tara. I have no questions."

The tone of her voice shocked me. She had no questions indeed. My world was topsy-turvy. I felt lost about our relationship yet she seemed to know everything, to have absolute faith and conviction. "Do you wonder... how things," I pulled away my hand and motioned between us with my thumb and forefinger, "will be different between us?"

She turned in my grasp so that she could look at me and smiled as she brushed a wisp of hair from my forehead and behind my ear. "Nothing will be different, Tara. It will just be much more so after tomorrow." Before I could answer she patted the bedclothes. "Now we need to go to sleep so we aren't late for our big day." She smiled teasingly. "Or are you having second thoughts?"

I lay on the pallet as she had directed but pulled her into my arms. "I have many thoughts but I've never doubted wanting you." She kissed my hand again and pulled my arms tighter around her body but didn't answer. I waited a few minutes and waited a few more before realizing that she was no longer awake. And then I was no longer awake.

I awoke to the smell of fish cooking and terrible singing that I was so used to. I cast my forearm over my eyes to shield them from the sun and shouted: "Dani! We must have startled some grackles. I hear a terrible noise!" It was no surprise that Dani would have been up early to catch our breakfast and I wanted to tease her over what seemed to be her only true weakness.

She kicked at my feet as if trying to rouse me. "This grackle caught our breakfast while you had a holiday."

I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms well over my head. It seemed that Dani had a strange look on her face for just a moment and I wanted to comment on it but at the same time, she blushed and I thought I might have surpassed my teasing quotient for this early morning. The air had a chill and I quickly pulled on the light leather jacket which lay on our packs. I stood and gave my girl a brief hug as I said good morning and then excused myself for a few minutes.

When I got back Dani had divided our breakfast, which consisted of the pan fried fish with a butter and spices, peaches, and corn cakes onto two plates. She handed me one and I playfully bowed as I thanked her. My stomach grumbled even as Dani thanked the creator the spirit of the fish who honored us with their gift and I smiled sheepishly. "I'm surprised that you didn't wake earlier with that monster in your stomach," Dani teased as I took my first bite.

I ate slowly and quietly as the first rays of the sun began to appear on the horizon. It was as if I could feel the perfection of the day. "By nightfall everything will be so different."

Dani seemed as if she were studying me. Perhaps she hadn't understood my tone. I don't know that I understood it myself. Part of me was excited like a child expecting a new toy or a woman awaiting jewels for her wrist and part of me felt a sort of sadness I couldn't explain. I was already an adult, a Lady of my Estate in fact, but part of me felt like an innocent child and I completely lacked the words to express my emotions in spite of the years of elocution training. Finally she swallowed her last bite.

"Do you have doubts?"

Her voice sounded small and fearful and I couldn't stand the sound. I dropped my plate and fell to my knees in front of her. Each of her small hands, I held in my own and kissed her fingertips tenderly. Without releasing either hand, I used my fingertip to lift her chin so that I could look into my girl's eyes. "Dani, Love, I have never for a moment doubted you nor my feelings for you. I want you more than I could possibly say."

I could see the tears filling her eyes and looking as if they would spill over. I started to lift my hand to her cheek and she closed her eyes. A tear slowly rolled from her eyes down her cheek and I brushed it with my hand, not knowing what to say.

We sat like that for a long time. She with her eyes closed, silently crying and me kneeling in front of her wishing there was something I could do to take her pain away. My only consolation was that my plan at least would ensure that I could lessen her pain tonight. I smiled as I thought about the secret of the herbs I would offer my girl as soon as I could.

Finally Dani opened her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. I could barely hear her whisper. "You are so good to me."

I wrapped her in my arms and hugged her tightly. "Always, my girl. Always." I murmured into her hair and ear and didn't let go until I felt her hold on me release.

She rubbed both eyes gently with the backs of her hands and looked at our fire and then the incline of the sun. "We need to be going."

"Dani..." I didn't know what to say. Something was bothering my girl but I didn't know what and I just wanted to make her as happy as I could for the rest of our lives.

Dani stood up and brushed her hands on her britches before nudging at my foot with her boot. "We've been waiting our entire lives for this day, Tara." She smiled and it seemed as if her earlier sadness was gone. My girl was back and was as happy as I at the prospect of our intertwined destinies.

Noting how short we were running on time, we worked together to clean our dishes and teardown the campsite. In a very short time we had packed up and loaded the horses with our gear. As time was of the essence, we decided to ride separately. We rode out, passing a wineskin of water back and forth between us. We had a few hours of riding in front of us and our conversation fell to discussion of my family and household business. In the two weeks since my ascension to the Ladyship, I had already been involved in more of the running of the household and estate than I had expected. I don't believe that I understood the extent to which Melanie was involved in the everyday functions of our lives and I gained new respect for her every day. Once Dani had her marks and our celebration was complete, an undertaking that had certainly increased the amount of planning and work, she would have the authority to help me greatly in these new responsibilities.

Although invitations for my mark celebration had gone out moons ago, there was still much work to do arranging everything. It was not often that a five-mark celebration was held and even less frequent that one was held with advanced notice. Most five-mark celebrations were either held to bestow the marks on a Lady as she married a Lord which was really a joining celebration or were held quickly as the new Lord or Lord and Lady ascended to their positions on the passing of the Lord of an estate. This meant that our gala would be more elaborate than any mark celebration we had ever attended with more guests and of a higher rank. Guests were expected from as far as five days journey. Peace had finally overtaken years of political skirmishes to the North and we expected some attendees from that direction. We speculated on the appearances of these countrymen with whom we had never had any interactions.

So our discussion on that morning's ride was very practical and logistical and I was again grateful for Dani's incredible mind. She was an amazing asset to me in every possible way. I offered a silent prayer of gratitude to The Creator for Dani. I hoped that she felt the same about me.

Before arriving at the marks tent, we needed to take a ritual bath. We could either bathe somewhere along the end of the route or arrive at the estate proper and use the same spot which Tadre and I had used. This was my preference but I would comply with whatever Dani's chose.

According to the position of the sun, we arrived at our main road with about an hour before our appointment at the tent. We rode the horses back and handed them off to a stable boy before making our way down to the river. After finding some soap root near the bank, we disrobed and got into our bath. The water was warmer than it had been near the waterfall and we enjoyed it greatly after our long hours spent on the horses. Once we were clean, we offered supplication to The Creator that we could be pure and worthy of the commitment we were about to make. I leaned over and kissed Dani once on the forehead. "Are you ready?"

She smiled and took my hand as we climbed from the water. "Yes, My Lady."