Author: JustSkipIt
Rating: R to NC-17
Feedback: Please leave feedback on the Waiting for Dani thread on the Kitten Board.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. I'm not saying this universe is totally original but I didn't steal it from any author or creator that I know of. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.
Distribution: Kitten Board, Through the Looking Glass, Mystic Muse. Everyone else, send me a note.

We dressed, checked the position of the sun, and walked to the marking tent. Waiting for us outside the tent were T'dre, D'Shel, D'rs, and D'rek. T'dre would be artisting the marks and D'rs and D'rek were present because they held five marks each. D'Shel, while she only held 3 marks, was present to "give" Dani to me. It was a formality not all houses observed but the Maclays always wanted the parents or parent of the servant accepting a mark present for the ceremony if possible. T'dre welcomed us and took our hands to offer a prayer to The Creator. Then she released Dani's hand and T'dre and I entered the tent to wait.

Once inside, I handed T'dre a solid gold coin, the same as my father had done for my marking. She tucked the coin away as I'd seen her do many times now. This was not her entire payment; it was more of a token to bind her and myself to the art and magic she was about to perform. We waited a few moments and then Dani entered the tent. I could see that D'Shel held her left hand while D'rs and D'rek had their hands on her shoulder blades. Everyone in the tent bowed deeply to me as befit my station of Lady T'ra Maclay. I extended my mark and nodded my head to accept their devotion.

Holding my marked hand in hers, T'dre stepped up to Dani and joined our hands, mark to palm. I knew what was coming, having been to and assisted in tens of markings but I still had no idea the intensity of the event. I wanted this more than anything, to take Dani as my servant, and at the same time wanted to always be worthy of my girl. "Who gives this woman, Dani, swearing support for her skill and worth as marked servants of this house?"

D'rs and D'rek answered in unison, taking their hands from Dani's back as they finished speaking. "We do."

"D'Shel of the Maclay Estate, do you give this woman, Dani, to become D'ni-mark bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay?"

I could hardly breathe as I waited for D'Shel's answer. These might just be the most crucial few minutes of my life. It was unusual but not unheard of for a parent to revoke their grant even this late just as it was possible, although I prayed not, that Dani could refuse the bonding. I only expelled my breath when I heard D'Shel's answer. "I, D'Shel of the Maclay Estate, give this, my only daughter Dani, to become D'ni-mark bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay." As she finished speaking she released Dani's hand. She turned and kissed Dani on each cheek before D'rs and D'rek bowed to me and then led her from the tent.

T'dre smiled at the two of us. Dani had tears in her eyes as did I. T'dre looked back and forth between us and squeezed our hands in hers, attempting to comfort us. Part of the artist's responsibility was to guide the bound pair through the process.

T'dre took a deep breath before intoning. "Creator. We stand before you ready to bind this woman D'ni to her Lady T'ra Maclay. We humbly ask your blessing that my art be as strong and pure as their connection, that the magic bind, protect, and guide them for all time." She waited a few seconds before addressing us. "Lady T'ra Maclay. Do you invite and accept this servant to be bound to you as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you vow the protection and devotion of your Estate, your Ladyship, your marks, and your very being upon this servant, now and forever?"

I could feel tears running down my face but I smiled nonetheless. "I do." I had never seen Tadre do this in another binding but she gently lifted my free hand to her mouth and placed a kiss on the back.

"Dani, daughter of D'Shel of the Estate of Maclay, do you freely choose to become the bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay?"

I felt as if my heart would pound out of my chest. I wondered if the other two women could hear it beating against my rib bones. Surely Dani could feel it through our hands. Her voice sounded strangely far away in my straining ears. "I do."

"And will you, choosing this binding, serve Lady T'ra Maclay with your every intention as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

Tadre lifted Dani's free hand to her lips as she had done with mine and planted a similar kiss on my servant. She smiled at both of us. "Lady T'ra Maclay and Dani, you have vowed your commitment to this binding, freely choosing it and understanding what this binding represents. It is now my honor to commit this binding to The Creator. Thank you for your gift." She indicated with her hands that we should sit and we did.

Artists had great latitude in their choice of position for the servant or noble man or woman receiving marks. While a noble man or woman could advise on this choice, most left it up to the artist and Tadre told me that she had never heard of a servant expressing a preference. In the binding of a female servant, T'dre's preference was that the noblewoman should sit on the ground of the tent, her back and sides supported by a special chair or pillows with her servant between her legs. This allowed the servant to relax into her mistress's arms and accept her comfort and stability. The position also forced the mistress to immediately assume a role of protection for her servant which would last throughout the years of their binding.

I took my seat and looked up to see Dani gazing at me. For a moment, I thought that she might kiss me but the instant passed and she turned to sit against me. "I'm going to bare your hip now," I whispered in her ear and she nodded.

I wished so badly that the healer was present. I wanted him to apply the numbing herbs to Dani's hip before T'dre could start her artistry not to mention wanting Dani to take an oral dose of the herbs.

I did not feel apprehensive for myself in spite of the warning Tadre had given me during our lesson last week. After I believed we were done she had asked me to take a walk in the gardens. I found this strange but said yes without question. Once on the walk she asked me to sit and then explained that she wanted to warn me about Dani's binding. While most people could not feel the anchors we put in our work, she and I had a very unique ability where marks were concerned. The ability to feel the connection in the marks was something that we shared and something that was unique to artists or potential artists. It also meant that as an artist, I would be able to feel the binding between each anchor placed in my mark and Dani's as it was used-we called it "pulling through." She said that the sensation would not near the pain of my marking but that it might be uncomfortable and certainly would be something of note. She had also indicated that my ability to feel the anchors could make the artistry even more intense for Dani.

T'dre cleaned the spot on Dani's hip, prayed again that her art would be strong and pure, and began her artistry. I felt Dani tense when the hot needle first touched her skin and I tensed along with her but I held her and whispered in her ear and stroked her head and back and she relaxed after a minute or two. I tried to keep from looking at the needle going in and out of Dani's tender skin but I could smell her flesh burning. Finally I decided that if she could withstand the feeling, I could at least look at T'dre's work.

My first thought was how beautiful the artistry was but my next was that's all she has done? A moment later I felt a very sharp pinch in my palm which shot up my arm and realized that she was binding the first anchor. It must have been painful for Dani also for my girl twitched in my arms. I tightened my grip and began whispering in her ear. "You're doing wonderfully, my girl." "That's the way." "Very good."

Together we attempted to use controlled breathing to help Dani through the pain. I could tell that it was very intense both because of the depth of feeling I was having as each anchor was pulled through the binding but also because I could tell that Dani was losing her grip on her reality. I continued to stroke her and whisper to her but she no longer answered me unless I was very forceful with her. She began to hum lowly and I had to tilt my head to realize that she was intoning a spell to calm herself. T'dre's eyes snapped open and she looked between Dani and I for a long moment, removing the needle from Dani's skin. She made no comment but returned to her work after a half minute or so.

I could see that T'dre was over half-way done with the marking but I didn't know how long we had been in the tent. Given how fast I knew T'dre usually worked on a binding, it could have been an hour to an hour and a half but then this binding was much more elaborate and complex than any I had ever witnessed. T'dre had confessed to me the week before that this was the most complex binding she had ever performed.

One stroke of her needle pulled three anchors through the binding and both Dani and I jerked back. As soon as I could let go of the sensation, I again began attempting to calm my girl who was obviously in intense pain. She wasn't crying but I could tell how hard she was working to avoid it. I began to sing her a song both to comfort her and to attempt to lessen the pain. I smiled for a moment as I remembered that this was the same song I tried the day my father had given us the horses.

It seemed that the binding's intensity was increasing for everyone in the tent and I didn't notice at first the effect that the pain was having. The first time T'dre reached to dip her needle in ink and had to move the cup, I did not notice but I soon realized that she was having trouble as the cups were hovering just inches off the floor of the tent. Then a pillow rose slightly and crashed back down. T'dre set down her needle and closed her eyes. I could tell that she was praying and closed my eyes to join her. When she opened her eyes again, she didn't pick up the needle but reached out and placed her hands on the backs of mine. Since my arms were wrapped around my girl, she was also holding Dani.

She looked at me very intently before speaking. "Lady T'ra. You must control your magic." I realized that her hands were now stroking the skin on Dani's arms and recognized the spell she was trying to cast to lessen the pain for my girl. Her words were pointed as she emphasized what I needed to do. It was obvious to everyone in the tent that she knew I was not floating the cups. We had worked and studied together for years and she knew every scent, every heartbeat of my magic. She moved one hand to stroke Dani's face. "Dani, can you look at me?"

Dani looked up at T'dre and attempted to smile.

"Ok. You are through the biggest part of the binding and you're doing great." Dani nodded and T'dre continued. "Your Lady is having trouble controlling her magic." Dani took a deep breath. "You must help her. Do you understand?"

Dani's voice was weak as she slowly choked out her answer. "I will do my best, Miss T'dre."

I tightened my grip on my girl and repeated to T'dre that I would work to control myself. I felt a fear deep in the pit of my stomach that our secret was out. I trusted T'dre more than anyone not of my immediate family, yet the fact that she knew of Dani's power filled me with a terror I could not control.

"I will begin again."

And then she was pressing that needle into Dani's skin again. Both Dani and I were humming with the intensity of it as I attempted to cast a strong enough spell to bring her through the binding. Her body shook and sweat poured from her forehead which I tried to wipe with a soft cloth. I hummed my spell and placed soft kisses on her neck and continued telling her that she was doing so wonderfully but seeing her in this much pain made me feel like my heart would break for her. In spite of the pain, she did wonderfully at controlling her magic. Not another cup lifted from the floor. Apparently, T'dre's clear warning was enough to scare Dani into control. Either that or she simply didn't have the energy and strength any longer to invoke a spell, even unintentionally.

I could feel that T'dre was finishing up the binding and I looked to see that I was, in fact, correct. She had pulled through all the anchors and was just adding some detail and edging to the pattern. She asked me to put my palm right next to Dani's mark so that she could ensure it was exact and then asked me to also check it. I had never heard her do such a thing but then she didn't usually perform markings on her apprentice. I looked and then looked again as it was surely a test and sure enough, she had left off two tzardses, what might look like a small curlicue to the average person near the bottom. I pointed them out and she smiled and added them.

After she set down her instruments, T'dre took our hands in hers and said a blessing to The Creator that her artistry would be worthy of our bond. She opened her eyes and we did too and she offered me a carafe of water and cup from which I drank before offering it to D'ni. My girl was somewhat out of it and I could tell that she was in a great deal of pain but she accepted the water with my holding the cup in one hand and her chin in the other. Even so, she shook so that most of the sip dripped down her chin. Then T'dre stepped outside the tent and spoke to her servant quickly.

We rested until D'rek returned. He bowed to me and asked if we would like assistance to get to my rooms. It was fortunate that we had a male servant of equal rank to D'ni at the estate or we would have had to manage her transport on our own. I thanked him and he spoke very gently to Dani telling her that he was going to pick her up now. He held her easily as her weight was not great although it was great enough to have posed a challenge if the two of us had needed to move her. T'dre stepped outside the tent, followed by myself, and then D'rek. We saw no one outside the tent and a quick look at the sun told me that the artistry had taken about three and a half hours. I didn't stop to investigate it though; I wanted to get my girl into my rooms where I could care for her as quickly as possible. I led D'rek through the kitchens and down the hall to my rooms, noting that there seemed to be no one in the house. I knew that T'dre's servant had come to the house to tell everyone to leave as soon as she had fetched D'rek. Neither noble nor serving person could see Dani until her mark was shown the next morning, excepting myself, T'dre, T'dre's servant, and D'rek of course.

He laid her on the bed and bowed to all three of us before leaving the room. Tadre repeated that she would see us in the morning and gave me a very informal and non-traditional kiss on the forehead. Before leaving the room she apparently considered it and then turned back toward the bed to place a similar kiss on Dani's head. She whispered a message to my girl and then left my rooms.

The moment T'dre had left my rooms I rushed to my girl's side. I sat very carefully on the bed and took Dani's hand in my own, holding it to my breast and stroking the back of her hand. "How are you?"

She spoke through gritted teeth to say that she was fine, My Lady, which was an obvious and lame attempt to comfort me. I understood but I wanted to ease her pain, not ignore it. I placed my hand on her cheek to cup her face and looked into her eyes which watered with tears. Before I could say anything, her tears started. I held her like that for a long time before finally moving behind her to mimic the earlier posture as I held her sobbing form. When it seemed that she had moved through that bout of sadness and pain, I offered her a drink of water which she gladly accepted although she refused any of the meal which had been left for us in my outer rooms.

I could tell that she was tired but also that she was in pain badly enough that I doubted she could sleep. I reached my hand out to get the small vial of herbs and easily took it from behind the book on my bed table. "I have something to help the pain, darling."

Dani shook her head as forcefully as she could muster. "No herbs for servants, My Lady."

I held out the vial in front of her mouth and whispered as I stroked her hair with my other hand. "It's ok, Dani. I got these special for you." I continued stroking her hair. "Because you are so special."

A wave of pain must have gripped for her because it was now obviously so much harder for her to speak. Her tears began to flow again as she gasped. "Please don't make me. Please, My Lady." It was as desperate plea as I'd ever heard and far more desperate than I ever hoped to hear.

I knew that she was afraid that I would doubt her for this weakness but I did not. I knew how devoted she was, how loving, for how could it be anything but?

I stroked her hair and lifted the vial near her lips. "It's ok, My sweet. I don't doubt your binding or commitment or devotion. This can't make me doubt you. Please take this."

My girl didn't move her mouth any closer to the vial. Her difficulty in speaking again increased. "Pl-leas... no h-erbbbbbs. Weaken the b-b-bon..." she gave up speaking so hard was she crying.

"They won't weaken the binding, my girl." I still held the vial in front of her mouth but she had moved no closer to it, in fact locking her lips together in obvious pain.

It was no more than a whisper but I heard it nonetheless. "Please. Please. Please." My girl was pleading with me, not to lessen her pain but to allow it to continue.

Every fiber of my being, my love for her, screamed that I should share the herbs with her and ease her torture but I couldn't force her. I moved the vial away from her lips and capped it. Once my hand was free, I wrapped that arm around my girl's shoulders and patted her. "It's ok, Dani. It's ok." I could feel the tears on my face as I could do nothing to lessen her pain.

Yet, it seemed that her pain was lessening. She loosed her lips again and took a gasping breath before allowing her body to go limp in my arms. The last thing she said before losing consciousness was, "Thank you, My Lady. Thank you."

I sat through that long night holding her in my arms, stroking her head and hair, whispering to her, patting her when she stirred. I did not get up and get the food we had been left in spite of my growling stomach nor use the necessary in spite of that eventual need. I could do nothing but hold and continue to hold my girl through this, the hardest and longest night of my life.

In spite of my exhaustion, I had trouble sleeping. But even given those long hours spent in the night with nothing but my feelings and thoughts, I did not understand what I've come to understand now.

My girl's pain that night was not caused by her marks, or not entirely. She was pained by attempting to dissuade me from my intention. Melanie's words come back to me: "Once your servant is mark-bonded to you, it would be literally impossible for her to leave you. To cross you. To fail you. Actually impossible." To beg to be free of the herbs, D'ni was battling the bond. Had I pushed her farther, she would have taken the herbs or done anything else I demanded of her.

What else? Whatever else has she done only because she could not refuse me?