Author: ophelia11
Rating: PG-13 for pottymouths and innuendo. Strong chance for naughtiness later on.
Disclaimer: The story is mine. The characters are not. :(
Feedback: Pretty please? Please leave feedback on the Impulse thread on the Kitten Board.

The world breaks us all. Afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms

A week after their impromptu slumber party, Willow was stretched out on her couch with a sweatshirt rolled up behind her head. Her toes barely brushed against the opposite arm and she stared blankly at the flat screen television mounted to the wall. She leaned slightly to her right side and her arm was bent awkwardly, holding a cell phone to her ear.

"You know we're touching on a whole new low here, right?" Tara's voice cut through the silence.

"What?" Willow responded. "Xander and I used to do this all the time."

"Okay, one. Xander lives on the other side of the country. Two, your relationship with Xander is hardly standard. Three, I live ten minutes away and we're watching TV over the phone."

"If I don't interrupt, will you just keep counting?" Willow recognized Tara's points as valid, but she still found enjoyment doing silly things with her.

"I might. Why don't we do something?" Tara was normally pleased with any time spent with Willow, but they'd only managed a few phone calls since Willow was at her apartment. Even if she was setting herself up for heartache down the road, she was willing to deal with that.

"Mmmm. What do you want to do?" She picked up the remote and flipped through the channels. "Fried Green Tomatoes is on TNT."

Ignoring Willow momentarily, "We could go out?"

"We could order in?" she offered in compromise.

Tara took a deep breath, trying to contain her mounting frustration. "We've done that. I was thinking we could do something different."

Willow frowned. "Either way your food is prepared for you, so what's the difference? I'll even let you choose the menu."

"Honestly?" Tara braced herself, unsure how she would be received. "It's different because it isn't eating on your couch or on my floor. Isn't there some place you love that you haven't visited forever?"

The redhead flipped off the television and sat up. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unprepared for the discussion. "Sure. I mean, I guess so. What's the big deal?"

Tara sighed. "It's not a big deal. I just...I thought it would be nice to take you out."

She felt the concern in Tara's voice and felt her own resolve waiver. "That's really sweet, but you don't need to do that."

"I know that, but I want to." She took a deep breath, "I love spending time with you, Willow. We've created this little haven, but there's a world out there and it misses you."

"Tara," she started to protest, "I appreciate your concern..."

"Come out with me tonight," she interrupted. "Let me share this with you. I promise you, I won't leave you alone and I'll hold your hand and whatever else you want. I don't care if we get all the way to the restaurant and you say you want to go home. Just...come with me?"

Willow's heart beat rapidly against her chest. It echoed in her ears and for several seconds she focused on quieting her body. After some hesitation, she finally relented. "Okay."

It was the outcome she hoped for, but never expected. "Really?" she asked with surprise.

"Yes. Don't make me think about it or I'll change my mind." Willow already felt her anxiety rising.

"Okay. No thinking. Go get dressed and I'm gonna do the same. I'll be over soon and I'll call you when I get there."

"Wait. Where are we going?"

Grinning, "You tell me. It's your night."

"Hmmm. How 'bout Italia? They have the best pastas and there's music. I used to love going there." Her mouth watered as she was reminded of their menu.

"Um," Tara paused, embarrassed. "I was thinking of something a little less..." Realizing a few extra dollars was worth the potential payout, she attempted to backtrack.

"My treat." Willow kicked herself for the selection, but the suggestion was out of her mouth before she considered it.

"Willow. I never meant for you to pay. Guess I'll have to dress a little nicer than I planned." She attempted to cover for her earlier concern.

"Trust me. You can wear anything...almost anything. I wanna pay. Let me pay?" An unfortunate conflict Willow faced from time to time was balancing economics. It was a simple fact that she made more money than the majority of her friends which often placed her in awkward situations.

"I can pay my own way, Willow." Her voice held an indignant tone, though she knew Willow meant no harm.

"I know that. I didn't mean to imply otherwise." She tiptoed delicately through the conversation, looking for hidden land-mines when her eyes widened. "It's my turn!"

Tara blinked. "What?"

"It's my turn. The first night we met you insisted on paying for dinner so it's my turn. Ha!" Willow grinned smugly, grateful to remain unscathed from this potential disaster.

"No. I bought dinner, but then you bought lunch last week so it's my turn." While she trusted Willow, it was difficult for her to allow someone else to look after her. Even if it was merely buying a meal. She doubted Willow would expect anything in return, she hated having imbalances in a relationship.

"Okay, technically we agreed I would provide the food since you were providing location. You also spotted me money for the scone when we went for coffee so I'm even more indebted to you."

"Willow..." she warned. Details were getting twisted before her eyes and she realized she was sitting on the losing side of this battle.

"It's decided. Pick me up in an hour. Be safe." Before Tara could argue, she quickly hung up the phone. Still grinning from her victory she stood up to get ready, momentarily forgetting to panic.

With ten minutes to spare, Tara was buzzed in to the lobby of Willow's building. She wore khakis, a simple white blouse and light brown loafers. Her hair was pulled back in a clip and hung loosely around her shoulders. She was just about to pull her cell phone from her pocket when a voice interrupted her. Tara looked toward the security desk where two uniformed individuals were seated.

"May I help you miss?" The older officer looked at her kindly. A woman in her early thirties sat quietly next to him, carefully observing the interaction.

"Oh," Tara said in surprise. "I was just picking up a friend." She fumbled in her pocket for her cell phone.

"I could call for you. What's the name?"

"Oh. Sure. Willow...uh Rosenberg." Tara wasn't used to this side of life and felt strange having another person make a call she could easily place herself.

"Ah. So you're the one that's put color back in Miss Rosenberg's cheeks." His eyes twinkled at the blonde as he held out his hand. "I'm Steve."

Slightly surprised by his comment, it took a few seconds for her to accept the gesture. "Tara. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Nah. Pleasure is mine, ma'am." He turned his attention to the operator phone and dialed several numbers.

Tara stood awkwardly at the desk, aware of the other woman's presence. Throughout the exchange she could feel eyes on her. Finally becoming annoyed with the staring she directed her attention fully, "Hello."

"Hello," the young officer returned and managed a shy smile. "Sorry. I'm still new here. Learning the ropes." She shrugged and rolled her eyes. The earlier discomfort faded.

Relaxing, "Must be tough. I can't imagine being responsible for an entire building."

"It's not so bad right now." Gesturing toward Steve, "This guy keeps me in line."

Tara smiled and nodded. "Always good to have a back-up."

Steve hung up the phone and looked up. "She'll be a few minutes." Chuckling, "I believe her exact words were 'Crap. I'm late. Stall for me.' At some point she dropped the phone."

Full lips slowly curved in to a lopsided smile. "That sounds about right."

He nodded. "So you've met our newest addition, Stephanie?" The two women nodded. "Nice to get some young blood in here. Too many more years and I'll be hard-pressed to secure a dog house."

His easy charm made Tara feel right at home. "I'm sure that's not true."

"Certainly kind to say so." The faint sound of a bell dinged somewhere above them and a minute later the elevator doors parted.

She was not accustomed to this side of Willow and when the woman stepped off the elevator, Tara focused on not staring. Her black slacks and cardigan were offset by the deep purple shell underneath. "Hey there," she managed without her tongue tripping over itself.

The ride down was nerve-racking, but now standing across from Tara, Willow felt her worries fade. "Hey. All set?"

"Yep." She tore her eyes away long enough to smile at the two guards. "Have a good evening.

Tara's voice reminded Willow there were other people in the lobby. She smiled shyly, "See ya," and followed Tara out the door.

Willow and Tara sat at a table off from a large stone fireplace that served as centerpiece to the dining area. During their ride to the restaurant, arrival, and subsequent ordering she couldn't help but be impressed by Willow's cool demeanor. She suspected the other woman was working intently on being a good dinner companion and was touched by the effort.

It was turning out to be a pleasant evening and Willow silently congratulated herself on staying together. "You look really nice tonight."

Tara's cheeks flushed. "So do you. I meant to say something earlier, but I guess I got distracted." Her eyes darted around the table.

If it was possible, the blonde seemed even more nervous than she was. I wonder what's going on? "How do you like the place so far?"

Grateful for a distraction she carefully appraised the room. Dimmed lights and a roaring fire created an intimate atmosphere. Diners spoke in low tones and music filtered through the room. "It's very...romantic. I mean..."

Saving her from herself, "I know what you mean."

Quiet fell over the table and Tara reached for her glass of wine. Her fingers knocked against the edge, nearly tipping it over before she regained control. The red liquid swirled and coated the inside of the glass. "Do you still enjoy writing?" When she noticed Willow's surprised look, she sunk slightly in her chair. "Sorry. I...I feel a sudden lack of words and so I was trying to start a conversation. You'd think we were on a date or something."

Since they left her apartment building Willow felt out of sorts. During the drive she tried without success to figure out what was happening. It does feel like a date. "Now that you mention it..."

Tara let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad it's not just me." She dropped her head and looked up at Willow through thick lashes. "Save me?"

The flames from the fire caused shadows to dance across Tara's face. Willow blinked several times, seeing Tara for the first time in a new light. A slow smile spread across her face and she shook her head, "You don't need saved." She reached for her glass and brought it slowly to her lips.

Sea blue darkened to midnight when Tara watched the tip of Willow's tongue capture a stray drop of wine. "I'm not so sure of that."

"You asked about writing, so..." she set her glass down. "I've always enjoyed it, but it's a process. I haven't taken great care of myself lately which definitely takes its toll on the creative juices. It's easy to blame that anyway. You know I've written the same character for over five years?"

"You make that sound like a lifetime." As Willow spoke, Tara studied the lines and angles of her face. The crease that appeared right above her nose when she was thinking. How her eyes squinted slightly when something humored her.

"Believe me. Sometimes it feels that way. It's not like I'm ungrateful for what it's brought me." Sighing, "I guess it's routine. When I could sit down and write and still be surprised by how the details came together? It was fun and exciting. Now everything seems too familiar and when I type something it feels like it's already been written."

"So it's become too predictable?"

"Yeah." She turned to stare in to the fire, watching the logs crackle and burn beneath the flames.

Tara reached across the table and squeezed her hand, bringing Willow back from wherever she lost herself. "You need to stop forcing it. Maybe working on something new would refresh you."

Willow's head dipped to the side and she smirked. "Did you have something in mind?"

Waggling her eyebrows, "How about a spunky lesbian private eye?" She could tell the suggestion caught Willow off guard and chuckled. "I'd read it."

She shook her head, but remained amused by the other woman. "You're terrible." Still, she considered the root of Tara's suggestion and maybe it was time to start from scratch. "What would this PI investigate?"

Shrugging, "Beats me. That's your job."

"You're no help," Willow pouted.

"Hmm...Let's see. Maybe she starts looking in to the death of an old flame that was also a PI. Instead of the normal crime stuff, she earns most of her income from those cheater gigs where one spouse doesn't trust the other. There would certainly be lots of suspects." Tara shook her head, "Or you could come up with something that's really entertaining."

Willow was grinning back at her, "That's pretty good. Sounds like something I'd read. Hmm...shall I put your name in the credits?" she teased.

"You write it and you can put my name wherever you'd like." She wondered if the comment sounded as suggestive as it suddenly did to her. There was no time to puzzle it as the waiter approached the table. He slid a plate of chicken fettucini in front of her. "Thank you."

The man nodded and placed the eggplant parmigiana in front of Willow. His eyes twinkled as he looked between them. "Is there anything else I can get you ladies?" Both women shook their heads. "Very well. I'll check in on you later." Before leaving them he picked up the wine bottle and freshened their glasses. No longer needed, he stepped away from the table.

Tara looked across at Willow. "Is it just me or was he acting a little funny?" At that moment her eyes caught sight of their still joined hands. Eyes widened, "I'm so sorry," she said before pulling her arm back.

"I didn't mind," Willow said softly. "Go on," she said, looking at Tara's food. "I'm excited to see what you think."

A feeling of self-consciousness settled in with Willow's eyes eagerly watching her. She pretended to be alone while she picked up her fork and stabbed a piece of chicken. With careful precision she wrapped a single noodle just above it, dragged it through the sauce, and brought it to her mouth. With a satisfied moan she savored the flavors and no longer cared who was watching.

Pleased with the reaction, Willow turned the attention to her own plate. After a few bites she picked up the table talk. "Do you miss companionship?"

"Like a pet?"

Chuckling, "I was thinking more about the non-sex part of a relationship."

Tara's eyebrows shot up and she managed an, "Oh."

"Sorry." She blushed. "Sometimes I start thoughts in my head and don't bring other people in until halfway through. Think of the last relationship you were in and imagine a dividing line between the physical parts and the emotional ones."

She nodded even though she wasn't sure she understood where Willow was going. "Continue..."

"Well I was just thinking...there's a connection in those kinds of relationships that you don't really get other places..." Willow paused, trying to figure out how to explain.

Slightly embarrassed, Tara shook her head. "Um...I sort of understand what you're saying, but that hasn't really been my experience. I've always ended up a little heavy on one side and light on the other." She hoped it wouldn't be necessary to elaborate further. "I kinda had to change my number after the last one."

"Hey. No judgment from me. I've definitely been there with the phone number changes." She smiled sympathetically.

"Yours was a little different. I was stupid and knew better. It did make me realize that I don't want to be with anyone whose night starts at midnight. I'm also too old for booty calls to be cute." Mortified, "I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

Willow couldn't contain her surprised laughter. "I'm gonna leave that alone." She shook her head of naughty responses and refocused on her initial question. "I guess what I'm thinking of is the comfort you get with someone who knows your rough edges and likes you anyway. The person that sees all sides of you and doesn't run screaming."

Tara nodded as she ate. "Okay."

Suddenly shy, Willow frowned and shook her head, "Nevermind."

The blonde set down her fork and looked across the table meaningfully. "No. I understand what you're saying. Go on."

"It's just..." Willow looked down, "I was sitting here before the food came and I realized something." She imagined Tara might kick her under the table if she didn't make her point soon. "I kinda have that with you."

A delighted smile lit up Tara's face, "I think you're right."

Pleased with Tara's response, Willow returned to eating. Her mind reprocessed the conversation and she looked up at Tara. "So you've never had a girlfriend you could count on like that?"

She shook her head sadly, "Not really." Shrugging, "But when you get in to a relationship for the wrong reasons, you shouldn't expect the right ones to suddenly show up. It's about time I grew up and figured out what it is I really want. If that doesn't work, my friend Danny has been trying to fix me up for over a year."

Willow's brow furrowed, "How come you don't take him up on it?"

"I don't know. It's like...when you go the salon and the hairdresser has some wacky cut that looks like it was shaped with a lawnmower? You start wondering why you'd ever trust that person to do your hair. Kinda the same thing with Danny. Not to mention blind dates are just scary."

Chuckling, "That's very true. I remember in high school one of my friends set me up with this boy because she found out I'd never been on a date. I think she just took two available people and shoved them together. He spent the whole night talking about...I don't even remember. I do recall him eating every last morsel on his plate and then turning to mine and doing the same."

"Definitely not a good lead in for a second date," she giggled. "I met a woman at a restaurant and we're at the table and she just kinda...sat there staring at me. At first I ignored it and ordered. She glanced at the menu for about five seconds then asked for a cocktail. No food. Just the drink. When my meal came she started asking me if I was really going to eat it and when I'd be done. Apparently eating...or any other activity was just a formality in her world. At the end of the meal she was shocked I didn't want to go home with her." Tara shook her head. "I've sworn never again."

They returned to their meals sprinkling in light conversation throughout. When the check arrived, Tara begrudgingly allowed Willow to cover it. "Thank you for dinner."

Grinning widely, "It was my pleasure. Thank you for dragging me out."

"Anytime," she said thoughtfully. "I guess we should get going."

Willow nodded and followed her out of the restaurant. Once they were out on the sidewalk she looked up and was surprised to see a blanket of stars twinkling above. "What a pretty night."

Tara's eyes were on Willow when she replied, "Beautiful." She enjoyed the wondered expression on Willow's face as she reacquainted herself with the night sky. "Take a walk with me?"

Wide eyes returned to earth and looked toward Tara as if she'd grown a second head. "Um..."

Before she could clam up, Tara held out her hand. When Willow stared without moving, she stepped forward and slid her fingers between Willow's and pulled her close. She leaned down and whispered, "I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

It was a full minute before she finally conceded. Willow took a step closer until she was nearly pressed to Tara's side. "Just a little walk?"

Smiling down at her, "Once around the block." Willow nodded and waited for her. Keeping the redhead close, she stepped off and was pleased to find no resistance. "What's the first song you ever danced to?"

"I know what you're doing," Willow said softly. Her grip tightened when they passed by an alley, but she remained quiet.

"Humor me?" Tara pulled her closer, debating whether to trade in holding hands to put her arm around Willow's shoulder.

Willow ended up making the decision for her, keeping their hands entwined, but resting her head against Tara's shoulder. "Let's see. I think it was a school dance. Jeremy Hicks and Firehouse on the speakers blaring 'Love of a Lifetime'. You?"

"Nice memory," she giggled. "Mine was at a church dance if you can imagine. Tyler...something...I don't remember and...drumroll...'I'd Do Anything For Love'. Though apparently I wouldn't back then because he touched my boob, so I stepped on his foot."

"That's super." Willow laughed. "Best kiss?"

"Still waiting."

"Really?" Willow scrunched her nose when she looked up at her. A couple came up behind them and breezed past causing her to move even closer to Tara.

The blonde shrugged. "Maybe wishful thinking. I mean, I've had some very good kisses, but I like to think that the best one is yet to come."

"That's a nice way to think of it." They walked along in silence a few steps. Willow's head shot up, "Oh god. What if I've already had my best kiss? I wasn't even paying attention. This is terrible."

She let go of Willow's hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. "Relax. You have lots of great kisses in your future."

She enjoyed the feeling of being held and slipped her own arm around Tara's waist. "How can you be so sure?"

Grinning, "Magic." She stopped and turned to face Willow, eyebrows raised expectantly.

"Why'd we stop?" Tara's eyes gestured to their left and when she turned, she realized they were back at the car. "How'd you do that?" The blonde only looked back shyly and Willow threw her arms around her neck. She kissed her cheek before letting go and smiled when she saw them flush red.

"I should get you home," Tara managed, suddenly lacking a vocabulary.

Willow nodded and stepped around her to open the door. This time she stayed outside the car so she could watch a slightly stunned Tara make her way to the other side. When blue eyes looked back across the roof, she smiled. "You know? Ignoring the little details like how we aren't actually dating...This is the best date I've had in a very long time." She ducked inside the car, missing Tara's dumbfounded expression.