Author: ophelia11
Rating: PG-13 for pottymouths and innuendo. Strong chance for naughtiness later on.
Disclaimer: The story is mine. The characters are not. :(
Feedback: Pretty please? Please leave feedback on the Impulse thread on the Kitten Board.

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. - Soren Kierkergaard

Before Willow could consider what to do next, the song 'Flagpole Sitter' blasted through her apartment thanks to her cell phone and Xander's strange sense of humor. Though the volume told her the phone was nearby, she still struggled to find it. Burrowing in to the couch, she found it wedged between a cushion and one of the arms. "Sneaky, phone-eating couch." With a quick flip she was able to answer before the last ring, "You know I'm switching your ring tone as soon as we hang up."

"Uh huh. You've been sayin' it for three years now, Will. Anyway, what happened to 'hey, Xand. I'm glad you called, I've really missed you' and all that other good stuff?" His voice was always jovial and today was no exception.

Willow collapsed in to the couch grinning. "Hey there, Xander. How have you been? Boy I've missed you!" Feigned enthusiasm dripped from every word and she couldn't contain the giggle at the end.

"Hrmph. I see how you are. Go ahead and call up Buffy for some girl talk, but oh no. Don't bother calling poor Xander. I like to hear when my best friend's happy too, ya know."

This time Willow's voice was sincere. "I'm sorry, Xan. Honestly the last couple of months have been kinda crazy, but it's no excuse. I really have missed you."

Satisfied with Willow's response, Xander gave her a reprieve. "Aw, you know I just like messin' with you. It's good to hear your voice, Will. If I didn't know better, I'd say you sound happy."

Willow considered his statement. "Well...I guess I am...sorta. I mean life isn't quite puppies and chocolate, but it's getting there. What about you? How's Anya?"

"Wow! How's Anya? You are in a good mood." He chuckled when his ear was filled with random groans from the redhead. "Anyway, things are good. The tavern has been really busy the last few months which has certainly brought in extra tips." Xander was the main bartender for a local restaurant and made a substantial living mixing drinks and listening to people's woes.

"That sounds great. You're investing some of it aren't you?" Willow loved her friend dearly, but his spontaneity often stopped him from planning the way he should.

"Yes mom. One video game per month and the rest in to savings, just like you taught me." His voice betrayed his words, showing his obvious amusement at Willow's nurturing ways. "Actually, I used the money to pick up an extra class this quarter. I figured the more I take, the faster I graduate."

"Xander, that's awesome. I'm really glad for you. How soon until you have to start an internship?"

"Probably another six months or so. My counselor said there aren't that many opportunities for undergraduate psychology students, but he's trying to get me in with a friend of his at the psychiatric hospital here. It would be mostly intake forms and such, but I would get to observe sessions and do some of the behind the scenes stuff. I'm not anxious to jump in one-on-one with someone anyway so I think this setup is a good start."

"It sounds great. I hope it works out. You know if there's anything I..." she was cut off before finishing.

"I know and thanks. I'll keep you posted. Anyway, that's not really the reason I'm calling. I finally got word back from the big boss and my vacation was approved sooooooooooooo... Dawnster's graduation?"

Willow squealed. "You mean you're coming? Seriously?"

Laughing, "I'm going to have to have my ears checked first, but yes. Pen me in or whatever you do...but a definite yes for me."

"That's great. Is it just you or will you bring company?"

"Subtle," he chuckled. "Try not to be too disappointed, but Anya wasn't able to get the time off work. You'll have me all to yourself."

"I have the futon if you'd like to stay with me," she offered.

"Thanks, but I'm feeling kinda grown-up. Figured I'd get a hotel. Plus that thing has always had it out for my back. I'm not as young and agile as I used to be."

"You were never agile," she teased. "That's cool though. If you change your mind, the offer is there."

"Appreciate it." There was a long silence that hung awkwardly as Xander considered his next words.

"You are rarely a man for silence, so what else is up?" Willow could always tell when Xander was hiding something. Neither of them could keep secrets from the other.

"Nothing bad or anything. I was just sort of debating in my head whether to ask what I want to ask because I don't know if it's my business to ask." He paused and took a deep breath. "Wow, I'm lightheaded. Is that how you feel after you finish a sentence? 'Cause I'm never talking to you when you're driving again 'cause I think it's like being drunk."

"Butthead. So what do you want to know? As I recall, you have a very loose respect for privacy." She recalled the time in junior high when she was changing in to a new outfit, bought to impress him. When he burst through her bedroom door without knocking, it was not the new sweater he noticed.

"And for the four billionth time, I say that locks are there for a reason. Anyway, I sort of heard through the grapevine that there was a new lady in your life and color me curious." Before the accident, Willow was very open about all aspects of her social life. However, the mere mention of relationships now was a big no-no on the conversation ticket.

"Good grief is there a posting board somewhere?" Truth be told, she was touched by her friends' interest, but she still had to marvel at how quickly information passed through their group.

"You told Buffy. That's like calling up CNN...except she's more accurate. So...spill." He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his nicked coffee table. The place was small and the furniture a little shabby, but anything beat living with his parents.

"I'm not sure there's much to tell. Her name is Tara. We met a few months ago because of a totally random thing. She's really cool. I think you guys will really like her." Willow found she couldn't help smiling whenever she talked about Tara. It seemed involuntary.

"Don't think you can play that, Rosenberg." He used a high-pitch, girly voice to mimic her, "Oh she's cool. You'd like her." He dropped to his normal voice. "You waited how many months to share? So gimme a little more here."

"Well..." At once, a thousand thoughts and memories of Tara flooded her mind and she had trouble sifting through them for what to share. "I don't really know what to tell you. She works at a coffee shop and she volunteers sometimes at this community center for kids to go after school. She helps with homework and such. Oh! And she has these sketches... They're awesome."

"Whoa. Gushing much?" Xander smiled, listening to Willow talk. Everyone associated her personality change with her attack, but he knew some things were happening long before that. The redhead felt she was in a rut personally and professionally. He was the only one that knew how close she was to cashing in and moving out of the city before everything happened. The Willow talking to him now was more like his long time friend and he was thrilled to hear her return.

Though the dark-haired man couldn't possibly see through the phone, Willow could feel herself flush. "Sorry."

"Nah. It's good. I like hearing you happy. It's been a long time since you've gone on about anyone. She must be special."

"Yeah...she is."

"Buffy said you thought she was dating a guy at work?" He hated the 'he said, she said' angle but they already established that Buffy spilled the information so making any attempts to hide that fact was a waste of time.

Willow hesitated. "Yeah...about that. I kinda found out she's much less with the liking of men than I originally thought."

"Oh? How much less are we talking?" He wasn't quite prepared for this new development.

"She pretty much thinks boys are for carrying out garbage and girls are settling down material."

"You mean she's gay." Xander knew that's what she meant, but sometimes Willow liked to live with loose generalizations instead of dealing with reality.

"Well...um...yeah." Willow had known about Tara for some time and couldn't put her finger on why sharing this information with her oldest friend made her feel uncomfortable.

"So? Are you gonna ask her out or what?" Girls might dance around subjects for weeks, but he was a direct kinda guy. It's how they were together.

"Are you high? I told you we're friends. That's all." Sometimes Xander could be such a man.

"Mmm hmm. Go ahead and play that missy. We both know it wouldn't be the first time you had a crush on a friend." Since going for the gold didn't work, he tried a slightly gentler approach. "Or a friend of the female persuasion..."

"I do not have a crush. You're as bad as Buffy. Not that she wouldn't be crush-worthy but that's just not us, you know. I mean she really is great, Xander. I admire her and enjoy spending time with her, but that's it." For emphasis, she stomped her foot firmly on the floor and then rolled her eyes realizing the dramatic effect was lost over the phone.

"Who are you trying to convince?" He waited a few seconds but didn't expect a response. "Look, I'm not trying to push you to act on anything, but we both know you like to bury your feelings. This is the happiest I've heard you in years, Will. I'm not sure what's brought it on and you don't need to tell me. But...if this girl had anything to do with it then I think you owe it to yourself to consider..."

"Xander, stop. I appreciate what you're saying. I do. I just don't think about Tara that way. The idea of dating at all is a little freaky to me right now. I'm a little too flighty right now to jump in to anything and I wouldn't do that to Tara." She sighed, frustrated with the conversation.

"Okay. Look, I didn't mean to upset you. I just figured..." Xander ran a hand through his hair, irritated at himself for pushing.

"No. It's fine. I know you're just looking out for me. When I start figuring out what the hell is going on in my head, you'll be the first to know."

"It's a deal. So are you at least inviting her to the party?"

"Dawn's graduation? Um...I honestly didn't think about it. I mean going to a party where you don't know anyone isn't exactly the most enticing offer." She stood up and made her way in to the kitchen. Once there, she opened the fridge and stared at the contents.

"Okay, I admit it's not the best scenario. Still...we'd get to meet her...and hey. She'd get to meet us. I mean if Tara's in for the long haul don't you think we should all get to know each other?" Xander knew he was reaching, but he did want to meet the woman.

"Wouldn't that just be weird? I don't know how I'd feel if the roles were reversed. Since I'm playing hostess I can't exactly stay glued to her all night." Unable to find anything appealing, she reached for a water bottle and let the door drift close.

"Well she's a big girl. She can probably carry on a conversation without your assistance." He couldn't figure out why he was pushing so hard and waited for Willow to snap at him.

"I know that. I just...look. Let me think about it. If she wants to come then fine. But I won't push." The prospect of Tara meeting her friends and in turn, them meeting her, filled her with nervous energy. Lost in her thoughts, she slowly made her way back to the couch. She sat stiffly on the edge and unscrewed the cap to her water.

"That's all I'm saying. If she says 'no' then there's no harm. Maybe she wants to meet your old friends. We're pretty cool after all." He grinned.

"Not after the stories I've told her." Willow giggled when she heard the gasp on the other end. She raised the bottle to her lips and took several drinks.

"Ha ha. So anyone else I know coming to this thing other than all of Dawn's freakishly loud friends?"

Willow scooted back in her seat and tried to recall the RSVP list. "Her roommate will be there and a couple other friends I think you met last time you were here. There's a guy she's been dating for a few months. Mark? Mike? I'm not sure. Right about the time I get used to someone, he changes. Oh! I got an email from Oz a couple days ago and he's hoping he can drop by."

"No way. Really? Oz is doing the social thing?" He was excited at the thought of having his old friend there, but still surprised.

"Yeah. He's been in the city a lot more lately. He always liked Dawn...even during her bratty period."

"You mean the teenage years?" They all liked to tease the younger woman about just how difficult she was growing up.

Laughing, "Pretty much. Anyway, there's a chance he has to go out of town for a gig, but if not, he will definitely be here."

"That's cool. Did you get in contact with Ben?" Depending on her mood, the subject of Ben could be touchy. He braced himself.

"Invitation sent and I left a couple messages at work. You know Ben though. Always unpredictable."

"This is true. I know it would mean a lot to Dawn if you can stand it."

"The idea of having multiple exes in the same room is a little creepy. Factor in the Tara potential and I predict some sort of spastic meltdown." She suddenly felt clammy as she imagined different scenarios.

"Look...if the Tara thing bothers you that much then don't say anything to her. I just thought you might like having her there. As for Ben and Oz? I got your back. Best friend duties definitely involve running interference if and when needed. You just say the word...or probably a signal 'cause I'm thinking if I'm across the room I probably couldn't hear you anyway."

"You're such a goofball sometimes, but thanks. I'll think about Tara. Maybe you're right. It would be kinda nice to have all the people I care about in one place for a change."

"See? I just have one more thing to say and then I promise...no more Tara-talk until you bring her up. Okay?"

She sighed heavily, accepting there was no point in arguing. "Go ahead."

"I'm a simple guy so I don't always see things the way you do. Given that, I think you should at least consider the possibility that Tara might have feelings for you." He paused, waiting for Willow's protests, but was greeted with thorny silence. "Now before you get upset, I'm not saying it as a gay thing, or raising questions about your friendship. It's more of a Willow thing. She has to see how great you are and it's hard not to love you." He paused, letting the words sink in.

"Wow...I...wow. I never really considered... I mean...I doubt it...I'm sure I would've noticed something...but..." Conflicting thoughts were firing through her brain and she gave up trying to articulate them.

"Hey. I didn't mean to break you. I was just trying to make a point...which I'm going to finish making now."

"You haven't rocked my universe enough for one night?" Willow's head was swimming.

Grinning on the other end, "Nope. So listen up. I know it's a big maybe and even if she doesn't right now, it doesn't mean that she couldn't in the future. Just...just don't wait too long to figure out how it is you really feel about her. Otherwise you'll go to her one day and find out she's moved on."

There was something more in Xander's voice, but Willow decided not to ask. Sensing that he shared some very personal advice, she gave him the best payment she could. "I will. I promise."

"Good. So..."

A shrill beep came through over Xander's words and startled Willow. "Okay, I am never this popular. I have to check the call waiting. Be right back." She pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the 'send' button. "Hello?"

A hyper voice came through clearly. "Okay, who is this Tara person and why haven't I met her yet?"

"I'm gonna kill Buffy." Willow smiled and used her sweetest voice. "Hey Dawnie. I have Xander on the other line..."

Interrupting, "Well tell him you will call him back because I am not hanging up this phone until you fill me in."

Willow groaned. "Hold on." Clicking back, "That would be the youngest Summers sister who apparently also subscribes to Buffy's gossip column."

Xander sniggered in response. "You better not keep her waiting then. It was good talking to you, Will."

"You too. Talk to you soon." She flipped back to the other line, "So how's school?"

Jake and Tara sat next to each other while Matt tended to the few customers in the restaurant. Having come in early, Jake wasn't on the clock for another ten minutes. The last few were quiet as Tara lost herself in her own head. Deciding it was time to break her out of it, Jake spoke softly. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"You'd be paying too much," she answered, chagrined. She waited a beat and then turned to him. "What do you think about Willow?"

He looked puzzled for a moment. "I told you before she seemed nice."

One eyebrow lowered. "I know what you said before, but I mean really?"

"I'm curious why you're asking." Jake often found himself in these types of conversations with his wife. A question that often appeared innocuous on the surface held a deeper meaning that often went unrecognized by the male point of view.

Sighing, "I don't know. You're the only other person I know that spent time with her. Sometimes I think she's too good to be true. I just...I want to make sure I'm not wearing blinders."

Jake nodded. For several minutes he remained quiet, deciding on what was best to say. Tara noticed his silence and her face became stricken. When he saw the look, he reached out and patted her hand. "Now don't start fretting on me. I was just thinking about how to answer. It's important for you to maintain your own feelings for Willow. I don't want something I say to influence you because you should trust yourself."

Tara nodded. "That makes sense."

"Good." He took one last breath before he began. "She seems lonely. I said before we didn't spend a lot of time together, but whenever I was there I could just feel this sadness coming from her. On top of that, it's like she's aware of those feelings and resents having them, but can't stop them."

"I...I think I follow..." Tara hoped he would explain further.

"She's always kinda skittish. I get the impression something bad happened to her because she always seems spooked. Whatever happened...she put up this protective wall to kind of defend herself. The thing is...after you spend a little time with her you can tell she really just hates that wall and is trying to climb up and peak out over the top to see what everyone else is doing."

A small chuckle escaped. "Yeah. That...that's a pretty good way of putting it. I noticed that she'll come out for a little while but always ends up sinking back behind it again."

Jake smiled sympathetically. "Maybe she's not quite ready to leave whatever comfort it offers her." Waiting until he was sure he had Tara's full attention, he continued, "Or maybe she needs some help taking it down."

"You know for a guy that claims not to know her very well, you seem to have a good impression of things."

He shrugged. "Eh. I don't know. I do like her, Tara. Whenever I was at the end of my shift, I'd stick around for awhile and talk. She's the only person I've ever met that can talk so much and remain a mystery. Most of the time we talked about my family. I'd bring over baby pictures of Sydney."

"She asks about her all the time." Tara smiled.

"Really? Sometimes I think I'm too much the proud papa and I just go around boring people. You know she bought Sydney stuff? Toys. Clothes."

Though Tara wasn't surprised by this information, it was not something the redhead told her. "I didn't."

"Yeah. I didn't want to take her money. I think she figured this way we both sort of got what we wanted. The clothes were especially nice because Sydney is still the messiest baby ever."

Tara giggled. "I told you she takes after her dad."

"Ha, ha. Willow also got her this fuzzy blue elephant." He shook his head, though his face showed obvious amusement. "Sydney crawls through the house with the nose clutched in her little fist. I swear...just trying to wrestle that thing away from her long enough to wash it takes half the afternoon."

It didn't seem possible that Tara's feelings for Willow could grow any more, but hearing how she cared for young Sydney made her heart swell further. "That's sweet."

"Oh no. You're going gushy on me." He grinned when Tara swatted him. "Honestly Tara. You got yourself a good one."

"I don't really have her, but yeah. She's a good one. She asks about you, by the way."

Jake sighed. "Yeah? I didn't think she'd really miss me being around. You're a far more personable and attractive substitute. I tend to open pickle jars and fix sinks."

Tara placed her hand on his knee and squeezed. "You're good for a lot more than that. I'm sure she'd be glad to see you again."

Matt returned to the counter. "So when do I get to meet your mystery woman?"

"If I plan well, never." Tara giggled.

Jake frowned. "Aw...you can't keep her to yourself forever. Anyway, my band is going to be in your 'hood later next month."

She turned to him. "Really?"

"Yep. Your cheap boss finely caved and booked us. I think you should bring your girl along with you."

"Um..." Tara shifted on her stool. How in the world do I invite her along without making it seem like a date?

Matt chimed in. "Oh come on Tara. If you haven't made any progress on 'Project: Girlfriend' by then, we might be able to help. This afternoon has certainly proved you still don't have a clue when it comes to women."

Tara whipped her head around. "Okay Jake is a family man so I'll accept criticism from him, but I don't see a long line of women waiting for you either."

He shrugged. "Hey I'm keeping my options open."

"That's what all single people say." She turned for confirmation from Jake, but he offered little support. His expression seemed to dare her to face her feelings. "Fine. I'll ask, but if she's crazy enough to say yes...please don't make me regret it." The guys eventually conceded. A reluctant smile came to Tara's face and she started started to comment when her cell phone rang. She slipped it from her bag and turned slightly away before answering. "Hello?...Hey there..." Tara couldn't hold in the smile, causing Matt and Jake to make faces at her.

Matt leaned over to Jake and whispered, still loud enough for Tara to catch. "Does she swoon like that when you call?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm lucky if I even get a greeting." Their joking was interrupted when Tara's arm came swinging out, catching Jake's upper arm. "Ouch."

"No...no interrupting. Just sitting here questioning my choice of friends..." There was a slight pause before Tara spoke again, "Nevermind. What's up?" She twisted further on her stool, hoping to avoid any more jokes. "Um...I work that evening, but I don't think I have anything to do during the day. Why?"

Jake and Matt did not bother hiding the fact they were eavesdropping and shared a confused look at the one-sided conversation. When Jake attempted to lean closer to the phone, Tara shoved him and scowled.

"...Uh...no. Not a problem. Willow, it's fine. I think that sounds nice. Okay. Go ahead and set things up and you can fill me in later. Yes, I'm sure....You too. Bye." When Tara turned back to replace her phone in her bag, the two men watched intently.

Matt spoke first. "Wow. It's even worse than I thought."

Even Jake chuckled as he stood up. Patting her shoulder as he passed, "You've got it bad, Maclay." Once he was out of her immediate view, he grinned at Matt and began speaking in a high pitch voice, "Oh Willow. That sounds so nice."

"I..." Frustrated she simply glared between the two.

"What was that about anyway?" Jake was on the other side of the counter now and slipped on an apron.

"Um...she wants me to go to lunch with her and a friend next week." Tara shifted uncomfortably. On the one hand, she was touched to be invited, but on the other felt nervous about meeting one of Willow's friends.

"Like a setup thing?" Matt asked.

"No. It's her best friend's little sister. She goes to college out here. They're meeting for lunch next week and she asked me to come."

"Meeting the family? Watch out. You may end up in a relationship in spite of yourself." Jake was looking at her with a hint of amusement.

"Ugh. What did I agree to?" She began gathering her bag and stood up.

"Aww. Relax, Tara. It can't be that bad. Still. Glad it's not me." Matt winked at her.

"Thanks." She said through gritted teeth.

Jake spoke up before an argument could ensue. "You could look at it from the other side. Wherever you two end up...she likes you enough that she wants you to meet her longtime friends. That's pretty big. She obviously thinks highly of you too."

"Maybe." Butterflies began swarming in her stomach the more she thought about it.

Matt shook his head, "Go on. Get out of here. I know you have to run home to your apartment so you can worry about this the rest of the weekend."

Shaking her head, she muttered, "Why are we friends?" The men chuckled as she waved goodbye and made her way to the front door.